I have decided that Eureka is my favorite low-mid range of vacuum cleaners. They have innovative products that go beyond the usual hype and generic frame set… Honestly don’t know that they perform any better than your average vacuum cleaner. What they do that I love is give me products that I can write a real review about and come up with creative things to say like the Eureka 71B EZ Kleen Hand-Held Vacuum Cleaner Review I usually spend all of my time bashing hand held vacuum cleaners because they offer nothing more than some hype and marketing catch phrases to work with. This little sucker gives me at least 5 distinct features that separate it from the usual shenanigans of hand held vacuum cleaners. And that’s just what I’ve gotten from looking at the picture… then I get to add a few of my usual complaints about hand held vacuum cleaners and I haven’t even read the “features” list which generally gives me another paragraph to write. This will easily be a 1,000 word review, which believe it or not makes me happy… great content for the site, great selling point, and a vacuum cleaner that I can point to for all of my hand held vacuum cleaners from here on out (leading to more page views, and more sales with Amazon Affiliates).
Oreck is great too for the same reasons… Beyond those two they’re all pretty freakin’ boring. Miele sells the same vacuum cleaner over, and over, and over again one for $550 it’s blue. Then they paint it “melon yellow” add an LED light bar and resell THE EXACT SAME MACHINE for $750… oh, then they switch it up and add a HEPA filter paint it white and sell it for $800 then if you really want the best possible Miele they take their white one paint it red give you an extra crevice tool for cleaning keyboards and blinds and sell it to you for $950. You think I’m exaggerating? No seriously do some research all of their models use the exact same engines, basically everything is the same except the few differences that I pointed out between their low end model and their top of the line model you pay $400 for an LED light bar, HEPA filter, and a crevice tool… oh, and a different paint color, that I’ve heard chips off if you bump anything hard enough to bend the plastic.
Hoover and Dyson seem to be in a competition to see who can create the most bland machine possible. They use each others designs so that you see not one, or two, but ten or so “models” of the same vacuum cleaner with varying price ranges and attachments that accompany them, oh and cord lengths.
Bissell and Electrolux seem to be in competition to create the UGLIEST machines possible. And they can’t decide if they want to compete with Dirt Devil and Shark for the worst vacuum cleaners possible, or if they want to fight for the mid range vacuum cleaner spot against Hoover and Dyson. One minute I’m reviewing a $40 Bissell that looks as though you may be lucky to even get it home without breaking it, the next they’ve got a $500 machine that has the same core design aspects as Hoover and Dyson with a little Bissell ugly flare thrown in to mask some of the more generic parts of the vacuum cleaner.
So yeah… as a reviewer that is why Eureka and Oreck top my list of favorite vacuum cleaners to add to the site. Don’t get me wrong, if I were trying to do something other than make money with the site… if every “review” wasn’t just a sales pitch in disguise I would point everyone to the Kirby website to save money. It may sound ridiculous that a $1,500 machine would save money, but think about it for a minute. The average lifespan of a modern Hoover or a Dyson is 2 years… that’s $400 every 2 years. Now if you want to throw in a carpet scrubber that’s another $250. A Kirby will last you 100 years without breaking a sweat… but lets be nice to the other vacuum cleaners and say you treat your Kirby REALLY badly and give it a very short life span of 20 years. That’s $4,000 just for vacuum cleaners (that uh… BTW don’t do as good of a job cleaning the carpet so you need to buy a new carpet scrubber once every 5 years since you don’t use it that frequently) $5,000 if you go the traditional route of cheap POS vacuum cleaner and cheap POS carpet scrubber keeping it alive as long as you can. Or you can go the route of $1,500 for a vacuum cleaner that when abused to death will only last you 20 years. Unfortunately there is no money in Kirby’s for me on the website. I’m trying to point people to Amazon.com to buy their vacuum cleaners where I get 4% of the action (unless I sell 7 items in the month then I get 6%). So you go right on ahead and follow the usual route of buying 2-3 Sharks or Dirt Devil’s at $50 a piece… then when you realize that they barely last 3 months and their warranty is crap go get yourself a Hoover or a Dyson that will last you 2ish years, you’ll love it I promise… oh and make sure to hit up the links on my site before each purchase… shoot man that’s a good $20 every 2 years for me!
And with that I think I’m going to stick with just the one review for the day. After doing 7 yesterday I think it’s about time that I got an easy day.